Yes, I take full responsibility that completely by accident, I consumed a non-compliant ingredient on day 28, day friggin 28 people, which has a very different mental impact than say day 3. It was an ingredient that I would not ever consume even in my outside W30 life. It was truly a mistake and believe me, I had to work triple time to not beat the s!@# out of myself mentally about how I could have been so stupid.
During both my W30’s this one and last, I would agonize over eating out in any restaurant because I am convinced that even when a person has done every single thing in their power to safeguard their meal, that there are many people who think they have been 100% compliant all 30 days who haven’t simply because they have eaten out. It happens and maybe in this case ignorance is bliss, especially if you are a head case like me.
One of my goals during this W30 was not to say no to every single invite to socialize over a restaurant meal because of fear. I want to be more relaxed around eating in restaurants. My husband and I had breakfast in a local diner, a decent choice due to menu diversity and diners are usually very accommodating. I decided what I was going to eat ahead of time and made sure that my omelet was not cooked in butter and that no gluten and dairy were added.
Here’s what happened:
My misstep happened over a lousy cup of Lemon Lift tea. I am not a big tea drinker but I am trying to cut back on coffee (diner coffee is generally crappy anyway) and hate the taste of Lipton (a diner staple). I decided on the innocuous herbal variety instead. The waitress brought over my cup of hot water and tea bag along with a bowl of lemon wedges. The tea bag was in an individual wrapper which I quickly perused to check for ingredients. Thinking that all was OK, I tore open the wrapper and dunked, taking my first, second and third sip. Then some force of nature had me picking up that wrapper and flipping it around in my hand, noticed that there were indeed ingredients listed that I had missed on the back. I was shocked to see that soy lecithin was among the listed ingredients. BTW, this ingredient in tea really pisses me off but that’s a whole other story.
Now if you are anything like me, you would have felt that crushing blow that comes from being a couple days shy of done with 100% compliance and then having this occur when you already have basket-case issues with eating out. I hadn’t even taken a single bite of food yet. I know how stress can literally undue the best eating habits in the world and I fought hard to be able to even enjoy my meal and not screw up my digestion.
In the end, my choice is NOT to start over and I stand by that choice. I believe in my case that starting over would set up a very negative association with the program and would cause further regression of my issues. I came to the W30 largely to learn about my triggers to foods both physically and emotionally and also to face my issues around food head on so that I can have a healthier mindset. Starting over would truly set me back. I am sure many a moderator would have me starting over but this is my call to make and I have made it.
No, I will not be bragging about my perfect W30 on the forum. I don’t feel I have earned that right but I DO feel that I have completed a successful W30 nonetheless.
I am not afraid of backlash. I even welcome it as strange as that sounds because the truth is, I still feel a little bad about this and this is part of the way I am working through it. I wanted to tell this story because we are all truly unique. Some would have started over no question but that would not be a healthy choice for me. Some would not even count this as a W30 since I slipped but there is no taking away what I have learned so far and what I will continue to learn. Both times, I have found this program to be far more challenging than I could ever anticipate but my decision has me looking forward to competing my next W30 with no slips.